When One Door Closes…Another One Opens

21 Apr


Too many things had gone wrong in my marriage.   Too many lonely, loveless years.  There was no joy, I had not been happy for quite some time and my (now) ex-husband had disconnected almost from the beginning , it was evident even in our wedding picture.  Every Fight was always ‘my fault’, he took no responsibility for what went wrong.  Instead, he blamed me.

At my urging, we tried counseling numerous times, unfortunately to no avail.  We were, sadly, well past the point of no return.  I stayed as long as I did for the sake of my children.  When I saw the effect it was having on them, I KNEW it was time to make the change.  This decision, I found out, would become the ultimate test of my faith!


Once I summoned the courage to actually file for divorce, many of my so-called friends started dropping like flies.  It was one of the darkest periods of my life.  I have never felt so abandoned, or so vulnerable…

I tried to be civil with my then estranged husband.    I wanted to be friends because after all, we had two young children to think of.  I gave and he took, kind of a skewed version of Quid Pro Quo.  It quickly became apparent that  he had a hidden agenda and he was hell-bent on punishing me.   The Battle was ON!   Who WAS this person I once loved and had two beautiful children with?

Why did he have to do so  many dirty, ugly, mean-spirited things?  All this,  just to hurt me?  It took a toll on me physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I was  going through HELL but so were my children!  I immediately got them in counseling to help them cope and I am happy to report that they are thriving.

Winston Churchill once said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”  Easier said then done.  To say it was difficult, well ~ that is the understatement of the year!


There were so many dark days…All I could feel was pain and despair.  It hurt me to my very core that the ones I thought “had my back” were the first to jump ship!  I really could have used the extra support.  But I hold no ill-will toward anyone because the message is far more valuable!   The adage ~ ‘THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU ONLY MAKES YOU STRONGER’ ~ is absolutely TRUE!

Here’s where it gets a little deep, so if you are not a believer, I may  lose you.  You see, this Battle wasn’t just about a fight for my physical freedom from my marriage, it was much more than that.  It was also BATTLE for my soul!  Yes, the dark forces were hard at work .   I will just leave it at that.

Into the Light

The upside ~ It sure doesn’t hurt to have God as your Shield and your Buckler!  Aside from my WONDERFUL Mother, my supportive Sister and of course, my precious little darlings, He strategically placed many other Angels in my life to help fight my Battle ~ together, they pulled me through.  I persevered because my faith taught me to NEVER stop believing, to have hope, to be strong and to “Be of good Courage.”  (Psalm 27 v:14)

The Road to Self Discovery

I have learned many lessons.  Like forgiveness and the POWER in letting go.  I have learned the importance of healing your past first, before  you can move forward and truly live in your future.  I understand that when one door closes, another one opens.  Today, I am closing the door to my past and for the first time in what seems like a lifetime, I am free!  I am happy and at peace.  I have accepted the consequences of my decision and have paid a high price, but maybe it has been worth it because…Today, is the first day of my new beginning and I welcome it, with arms wide open!  

Just My Two Cents♥♥

© 2011


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