Daddy ~ why are you mad at us?

15 Sep

Today’s post is dedicated to my loves ~ CJ and Reilly

~ AND ~


I lamented for several days as to whether or not I should write today’s post ~ then I remembered what my friends, Robin and Ty respectively said to me, “Be Authentic” and “Risk being Vulnerable.”  ~

And so, I digress…

CJ and Reilly, the two of you are my reason!

Mama WILL ALWAYS be here for you and to take care of you!  I Love you more than LIFE!♥♥

“Mommy, why did daddy stop calling us?”

How does a Mother look into the eyes of her babies and answer a question like this?!  After six months of SILENCE, (he ignored my previous emails and phone call), I put pride aside and, again reached out.   I called my ex-husband.  After ignoring my first few calls, he finally answered.  His tone was BITTER at best.   I exchanged pleasantries,  asked when he would make good on his financial oblations as per the divorce decree ,and why he had NOT contacted his children for six months?  His response blew me away… [I will refrain from repeating his expletive-laced vocabulary]

“YOU ruined my life, and the sound of your voice makes me want to vomit!”   “You’ve won’t see a penny.”   He ranted ~ “…that he’d quit his job to ensure this happened!”   ‘Wow’, is all I could process…

He never did say why he’d STOPPED calling the kids.

A Mother’s tear

My heart is BROKEN  for CJ and Reilly  ~ for the heartbreak their young lives have already endured ~ they are the innocents.  I thought our job as parents was to LOVE, Care for, and PROTECT our children?!  Obviously, I was mistaken.  Still trying to wrap my head around that one…

What would make you so ANGRY ~

You COULD ABANDON your children over it?

Tell me…

What kind of man does this?  It’s not about us ~ it’s about the babies!  My soon-to-be eight year old “Little Man” had a “Surviving being abandoned by my father,” Party for he and his sister…can you even understand the depth of pain I felt for my son and daughter?  So apparently, playing the blame game is an EXCUSE in being derelict of your responsibilities…  Okay.

For the record

I did not ruin his life.   I divorced him.  We could not make it as a married couple I just wanted my FREEDOM!   ~ So ~ What does that have to do with NOT contacting your children?


Mommy’s, sometimes you just gotta STAND UP~ find the courage  ~ to do what you need to do ~ to get what you want in this world.  For me, finding the courage to leave was key ~ to be a single mother ~ to find balance between my freedom and, my children’s happiness ~ it was worth it.  Gosh, I KNOW I made the best decision for my family! We are happy, at peace,  healthy and rich beyond dollars and cents!  Life DOES go on!

Children are resilient

Thank God, I’ve nurtured and LOVED my children with my whole heart ~ as any mother would…  They are emotionally strong as well as resilient.  I’ve had my ‘Oh, my God’ ~ ‘I am raising these babies on my own~ can’t fuck it up!’~  Single Mommy moments!  We’ve adapted ~ that’s how we ROLL! 


Just My Two Cents♥♥

© 2011

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