Life’s Road Map

15 Oct

End of my rope…

Sometimes the worst thing that happens to you can actually be the best thing for you, as long as you do not let it get the BEST of you!

I am finding that to be so very true ~ especially in spite of the horrific things that have happened in my life recently.  I was in such a state of shock at my now ex-husband’s betrayal.

How could I have been so stupid?!   I was angry, blind-sided, in denial, and mired down in the muck from the pain.  A pain so intense that it often manifested itself physically.

The unbearable ache in my heart ~ actually felt as if arrows were piercing at and tearing into my soul.  My whole body ached and I WEPT deeply.   The tears burned through my cheeks…….. To say I was lost, off track ~ well, that is quite the understatement!


But let me say this ~ NEVER once did I doubt my faith nor did I feel any shame!   Hell yes, I wanted to know why this was happening to me and how this “man” who claimed to love me would want to cause me so much pain and distress  but the reality is that ~ life can be a Bitch.  I’ve learned  you’ve got to roll with the punches!

Had I somehow done to something to motivate his behavior? I’ve been through tough times before, but nothing like this. How was I going to pull though? I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and saw that I was becoming a shell of who I once was.

I felt empty, fragile and very vulnerable.   “SNAP out of it!”  I screamed at myself.   Sometimes I felt like life was mocking me ~ the only thing I was able to manage was to do what was familiar to me.

So I relied heavily on my faith, turning to my well-worn bible ~ frantically scouring my favorite passages for reasons why, why, WHY?!! Oh God ~ How I NEEDED ANSWERS!!

I devoured self-help books and wrote down my feelings daily. During one of those panic driven quests for God knows what ~ SOMETHING clearly stood out ~ I realized that no matter what, I am who I am ~ Take it or leave it!!

I MUST to be true to myself no matter what anyone says ~ NO APPROVAL needed!! I know this will not get the BEST of me! I still have many questions and I understand that I may never get them all answered in this lifetime, but this much I do know ~ God has a plan for each of us.

When He wants to Bless us; to get our attention ~ He wraps up His plan with a problem. The messier the problem, the bigger the BLESSING!!

Okay ~ so now what?

What does that mean?   Well, for starters, we have to BELIEVE and follow His road map ~ directions can be found RIGHT in front of you! My directions are my two beautiful children.

I look into their eyes and I instinctively KNOW ~ I MUST, without a doubt, be strong for them ~ they depend on Mama for everything ~ as all children do.   My role as a mother is very precious to me for Motherhood is such a wondrous GIFT!

My children did not ask for this ~ not that I did;  but they are the innocents….my job, my priority is to PROTECT them!! But sometimes I hear this little voice in my mind asking,  “Who is going to protect me”?   Dare I ask that and still remain true to my faith?

The answer is YES ~ we are all human and as such, it is quite normal to ask these questions.  God wants us to come to him with our problems.  Okay, yes my life has been pain-ridden lately. I fully recognize that there are people far worse off than me so I keep this in mind at all times to refrain from a self-induced “Pity Party”.

With each new day, the sadness slowly fades. I have a renewed insight, inner-strength and even some peace. I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED!!  Yep, I will fall down but I shall rise again!

I have learned so much from this experience.  My journey it seems, is just beginning and I continue to grow as a woman and as a mother. Guess what else? It is okay to ask “Why?” ~ I have my road map right in front of me and All I have to do is reach for it.

I take each day as it comes, soaking up every new lesson life is determined to teach me.   The hole on my heart  is healing, slowly but surely.

With each day, comes new promise.   I am free to forgive and move on with no malice or anger.   But, I will not forget and, that is alright too.   I cannot wait to see what lies ahead.   I have no regrets, I have HOPE.    When I look into the beautiful faces of my children, I am confidant that I am on the right road and my BEST is yet to come!

Just my Two Cents♥♥

© 2011

12 Responses to “Life’s Road Map”

  1. wordsfallfrommyeyes October 15, 2011 at 6:52 AM #

    I absolutely agree, never lose hope. Great blog.

    • Kimberly Johnston October 19, 2011 at 3:46 PM #

      Thank you so much for the comment and for stopping by! I sincerely appreciate your kind words! Have a FANtastic day and please, stop by again.

  2. Ward Karapetyan September 9, 2012 at 2:45 AM #

    I simply want to mention I am beginner to weblog and definitely savored your blog site. Almost certainly I’m going to bookmark your site . You really come with fantastic well written articles. Regards for sharing your blog.

  3. Wilber Hertweck September 9, 2012 at 3:25 PM #

    I simply want to tell you that I’m beginner to blogs and seriously liked this blog. Very likely I’m likely to bookmark your blog post . You surely have outstanding articles and reviews. Many thanks for revealing your web-site.

  4. Cary Ridpath September 13, 2012 at 5:25 PM #

    I actually still cannot quite feel that I could often be one of those reading through the important recommendations found on your site. My family and I are truly thankful for the generosity and for offering me the chance to pursue my chosen career path. Appreciate your sharing the important information I acquired from your web page.

  5. Roselee Drapeau September 14, 2012 at 5:23 PM #

    Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and wished to say that I’ve really loved browsing your weblog posts. After all I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write once more very soon!

  6. Wilton Tijernia September 14, 2012 at 7:49 PM #

    Hello there, You have done an incredible job. I’ll certainly digg it and personally recommend to my friends. I am sure they will be benefited from this website.

  7. arbonne products September 15, 2012 at 12:11 AM #

    Have you thought about adding some relevant links to the article? I think it might enhance everyones understanding.

  8. Maryalice Teitelbaum September 15, 2012 at 3:55 AM #

    Lovely just what I was searching for. Thanks to the author for taking his time on this one.

  9. Credeur Functional Medicine September 16, 2012 at 12:27 PM #

    Hello.This post was extremely motivating, especially because I was looking for thoughts on this subject last couple of days.

  10. kansas city emergency plumbing company September 16, 2012 at 2:09 PM #

    You completed several good points there. I did a search on the issue and found a good number of people will agree with your blog.

  11. payday advance talk September 18, 2012 at 11:15 AM #

    Have you thought about adding some differing opinions to your article? I think it will really enhance viewers understanding.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


The Good Things Black People Do, Give and Receive All Over The World

Simple Pleasures

Visual Poetry, Photography and Quotes

Matt on Not-WordPress

Stuff and things.

Cinema Profound

Musings From The Red Carpet

Hiking Photography

Beautiful photos of hiking and other outdoor adventures.


Living life the way a butterfly would...


'dedicated to faith, peace and justice'

Inside K Phipps Warped Exotic Mind

Insight to unknown paranormal romance writer's thoughts

the author

"we will never truly have what we want from life but it is worth a try"

Dean J. Baker - Poetry, and prose poems



secret thoughts you don't say outloud


Just another site

Scout66com's Blog

Commentary on the music business and things related to the arts

%d bloggers like this: