Tag Archives: Relationships

Return to Sender ~ 7 Life Strategies to Help You Move Past Anger, Forgive and Be Happier!

14 Nov

Life isn’t always fair ~ as such in order to be Happier Beings, we must learn to accept the lessons life is teaching.  Everything that happens in our lives, happens for a reason.  There is something that MUST inherently be learned before we can proceed and move on to the next phase of our lives. We must accept  what we must, and change what we can ~ about ourselves, our situations and, our relationships.  If not, we will spend so much wasted time barely existing ~ not really thriving, not really living a life of fulfillment, not being Happy.

Happiness must come from within ourselves.  It is not something we can buy, beg, borrow or steal.  Happiness is how we think, it is a state of mind.  So let your conscience be your tour guide.  Happiness is a feeling we are all capable of ~ just listen to your inner voice and follow where it leads. 

Here are 7 Life Strategies that have helped me move past my anger toward my ex-husband, forgive and live a happier life!

1.  Make time for you.  I know this is easier said than done, especially if like me, you are a single working parent.  There never seems to be such a thing as “Me Time.”  But in order to be a better mother to my children, I have found that it is an absolute necessity to carve out time for just myself ~ GUILT is not allowed!  Sometimes, I take a long soak in the tub, enjoy my media room and actually watch a grown-up movie or, I enjoy sleeping in late if the kiddos have a sleepover with friends.  When I take time out for just me, I feel refreshed, calmer and at peace.  I feel ready to conquer the world all over again!  🙂

2.  Appreciate life.  Life is full of Beauty and Beauty is EVERYWHERE ~ you just have to make a concerted effort to always appreciate it ~ In life, appreciate all the Blessings and opportunities that you have. ~ In people, appreciate and cherish your loved ones and the time you spend together; as tomorrow is never promised to us. ~ In nature, appreciate and take the time to stop and smell the flowers, bask in the sunshine and breathe in the fresh air.  You’d be amazed at how good you feel!  Most importantly, appreciate the beauty from within yourself.  When I start to feel sorry for myself, for my struggles, I take a look around at all God has Blessed me with and I give Thanks; because my children and I have come so far!

3.  Be open ~ in mind, in body and in spirit.  It is necessary for our growth as humans to be open to learning something new.  Open your mind and heart ~ don’t let fear prevent you from taking a risk and gaining a greater sense of who your are.  Embrace the BEAUTIFUL Spirit within and Dare to DREAM!  I have always wanted to learn to speak fluent Italian but was discouraged by my ex-husband so I never pursued it while I was married.  After my divorce, and as part of my healing ~I am proud to say that I am learning to read, write and speak Italian ~  Io non sono molto paura di seguire il mio cuore e imparare la lingua del mio paese di adozione. Amo l’Italia! Non vedo l’ora di visitare e finalmente sentire a casa!

4.  Think BEFORE Act Responsibly ~ I know how very hard this is, but what has kept me in line is the mere thought that ~  just one single moment of carelessness or anger could cause a ripple effect  which will cost years of anguish and regret!  Om my gosh, it takes tremendous strength, willpower, prayer and practice, practice, PRACTICE!  My ex-husband has done some pretty rotten things to me, but I’m no angel ~ too many times I reacted instead of ignoring, and had to pay a price for my bad behavior.  Thankfully I am in a much better place, but continue to PRAY for patience and strength daily.  I have learned many lessons from this whole experience. I cherish how much I have grown, how I’ve come into my own as a woman and as a mother, so keep trying WARRIORS, you will get there!

5. Forgive ~ this is one of the most important if not THE most important of all lessons to move forward and survive the tough times you are experiencing.  The anger I felt toward my ex-husband for skipping out on his financial and emotional obligations with regard to our children, caused so much angst and bitterness that I actually became ill.  I lost a lot of weight, I felt depressed and sad all the time and could not sleep.  Even I struggled with Hope…After a real health scare this past Spring, I finally realized that for my well-being and for my children; I am ALL they have and they are my EVERYTHING, I had to find a way to forgive Craig.  Forgiveness does not by any means absolve him of the damage he has done, nor does it mean that he deserves to be forgiven, because he doesn’t for what he’s done to our children; but I could no longer bear to allow him to have that kind of destructive power over me.  Forgiveness was the only option,  for my peace of mind and, for my well-being.  You see, I realized how much time I was wasting being so angry and, how it was robbing me of energy as well as the enjoyment of my children.  I did not want that for my babies, they’ve already been through enough.  Craig will pay for his sins and the price will be HEAVY, but it is not my place to judge him ~ only to forgive him.  Forgiveness is such a special gift, it has given me so much strength and actually helped me appreciate just how WONDERFUL my children are.   Our bond is stronger than ever and for that, I will be FOREVER Grateful to God!

Forgiveness ~ it’s a funny thing ~ it warms your heart and cools the sting!

Forgiveness ~ it helps heal your pain while allowing you to gain ~ strength to let go of your angst!

6.  Accept yourself for who you are NOT for who others think you should be.  Self acceptance allows you to accept others without judgement and appreciate our differences.  We are all unique, talented beings and we all have a purpose.  So we should celebrate and embrace that special quality about each other.

7.  Dare to Dream.  This simple act allows you the freedom to believe in yourself!  No matter what anyone may say ~   Believe that you can accomplice anything  and you will!  Surround yourself with positive people who will be supportive and nurturing of your dreams; and cut ties with the toxic people.  Nothing good can come from negativity.  So, send it straight back to them.  Refuse to accept the Negative package and Return to Sender with love!

Continue to remain hopeful WARRIORS, and trust that God will always be with you; to help guide you through the difficult times.  Right now, my tough time is gearing up for yet another battle.  I am taking a stand for what is right.  I am fighting for the lives of my children and I am doing so without malice in my heart.  My ex- husband has been found in Contempt of  Court and again, has ignored the Court directive to absolve himself of his Contempt by taking care of his financial responsibility for our children. 

I guess he thinks he is above the law.  I am not angry or bitter, just disappointed that’s all.  I am simply doing what I must ~ I am doing what is just.  I will not back down, nor wear a frown.  I will not quit until I see fit that I have done all that is right for those two little loves of my LIFE!

I’m taking care of business and adjusted my sails.  Yes I am confident, I have faith and I will prevail.  As I head back to Court, I expect nothing short ~ God knows what’s best and I will get it, cause I’ve passed the test! 

I’ve moved past my anger and banished the toxic ex-husband.  I feel nothing, he’s such a stranger.  I am happily moving forward with no fear of danger.  Negativity ~ there is no room for you anymore, so I am slamming shut the door to my past.  I am free at last, for now for I have surrendered.  This is the time to Return to Sender!

Just My Two Cents♥♥

© 2011, 2012

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